Yes this year their birthday celebration is muted a bit. All the time I get at home I try and spend by the side of my ailing father. He is approaching the age of 73 but completely bed ridden in the last stages of terminal cancer. The moaning cries of pain, the continuos gurgling sound from his chest, the continuos head pain, the constant grasping of breath, the involuntary motion or jerking of hands and feet are watched closely by me and my mother who is equally pained but puts a brave front nevertheless. 

As every day goes by his feeds are getting less, the water intake is not there, no medicines being taken, the aggression and cries of pain when we try to make him sit up or change dressings is becoming increasingly difficult to witness. The condition keeps deteriorating every day.

At this juncture one can only trust and believe that as we are joyed to witness birth of a loved one, it is imminent to witness this part of life too which is active passing away of transition of a loved one. When we can stand and witness the births then why cannot we sit around a loved one who is also going through this process of God. Why can't we tell them it's ok to go. Why can't we sit and whisper that we love them for all they have done for us. Why can't we tell them that we will and have always loved them and that we will be ok going forward as they will always look after us up from the Heavens. The least we could do is hold their hands when they are frightened or touch and make them comfortable. Why shy away from all this. Let go of any grudges we hold for or against them. This time will never ever come again. I personally think all are not born that strong to see the latter but at the same time we cannot wish it away. Playing bhajans all the time, instrumental soothing music of old loved songs, dim soft lights, keeping the ill person comfortable should be as equally important as the efforts we make to keep a new born comfortable when they arrive into the world. Why is death of a near and dear loved one looked down upon and why do people keep away. Every soul has its own unique way of transition and the least we can do is to make it comfortable. We will miss them tomorrow when they are gone. Last night as i wished my daughter on her birthday I was thinking that my dad must have witnessed my birth, felt the joy of being a father, celebrated my birthdays and done everything possible to make me feel comfortable when I was born and was vulnerable, so why can't we as children help or look after them in this transition of theirs. After all they are going to more beautiful place and will be in the arms of the almighty and their elders and parents who have passed away before them.

As an adult being 43 years of age I must admit I have never seen the passing away of someone. I have never been to a crematorium. What I am witnessing now does worry me but prepares me to learn this chapter of life too. There is no point in worrying about the future, the key is to live in the moment and be in the moment that we find ourselves in right now.

Wishing all of us have a smooth transition without suffering and pain and are fortunate enough to be surrounded by all our loved near dear ones when it happens. God Bless us all.